DARK REVIEWS
The Morningstar
More Fun Than you can Shake a Stick at!
The views expressed in “Dark reviews” articles are entirely fictitious and should not be taken seriously. These articles are intended solely for satirical purposes.
As a medieval knight, I have had the privilege of using and testing many different weapons and tools during my time on the battlefield. But today, I want to focus on a different kind of weapon – the Morningstar. This is a unique weapon that has become increasingly popular among knights and soldiers alike, and for good reason. In this review, I’ll share my thoughts on the Morningstar and why it has become one of my favorite weapons.
The Morningstar is a type of mace that features a spiked head made of metal or wood. The spikes on the head of the Morningstar are designed to inflict maximum damage on an opponent. This is because the spikes have a greater surface area than a typical mace or hammer, which means that they can cause greater trauma to the body. Additionally, the Morningstar is designed to be swung in a wide arc, which makes it harder for an opponent to defend against.
One of the things I appreciate about the Morningstar is its versatility. It can be used against a variety of targets, including armored opponents. This is because the spikes can penetrate through armor, making it an effective weapon against heavily armored opponents. It’s also effective against unarmored opponents, as the spikes can easily penetrate flesh and bone.
Another benefit of the Morningstar is its weight. Unlike heavier weapons like the broadsword or battleaxe, the Morningstar is lightweight and easy to maneuver. This makes it an excellent choice for knights who prefer a more agile fighting style.
In terms of drawbacks, the Morningstar can be difficult to master. It requires a lot of practice to learn how to wield it effectively, especially given its unique design. Additionally, the spikes on the head of the Morningstar can become lodged in an opponent’s armor, making it difficult to retrieve.
Overall, I believe that the Morningstar is an excellent weapon that has become increasingly popular among knights and soldiers. Its versatility, lightweight design, and ability to inflict significant damage make it a valuable addition to any knight’s arsenal. However, it does require a lot of practice to master, and it can be difficult to retrieve if it becomes lodged in an opponent’s armor. But with the right training and experience, the Morningstar is a weapon that any medieval knight would be proud to wield on the battlefield.
History:
The morningstar is a type of medieval weapon that originated in Europe during the 14th century. It consists of a wooden or metal shaft with a spiked ball at the end. The spikes could be either straight or curved, and the ball could be plain or decorated with flanges or spikes.
The morningstar was primarily used as a weapon in the late Middle Ages and was often carried by knights and men-at-arms. It was particularly effective against armored opponents, as the spikes could penetrate through gaps in the armor and cause serious injuries. The weapon was also relatively easy to use, requiring less skill than a sword or a polearm.
The exact origin of the morningstar is uncertain, but it is believed to have been developed from the flail, a similar weapon that consists of a spiked ball attached to a chain or rope. The morningstar was designed to overcome some of the disadvantages of the flail, which was difficult to control and had a tendency to strike the wielder.
The morningstar became popular in the 14th and 15th centuries, and examples of the weapon can be found in many medieval art and literature. For example, the 14th-century Italian poet Dante Alighieri mentions the morningstar in his Divine Comedy, describing it as a weapon used by the devil to punish sinners.
The morningstar remained in use throughout the Renaissance and into the early modern period. However, by the 16th century, firearms were becoming more prevalent on the battlefield, and the morningstar began to fall out of favor. By the 17th century, it was largely obsolete as a military weapon.
Despite its decline in military use, the morningstar continued to be used as a ceremonial weapon by some European monarchs and nobles. In some cases, it was also used as a symbol of power and authority, appearing in heraldry and coat of arms.
Today, the morningstar is mainly used as a prop in movies, video games, and other forms of entertainment. However, there are still some martial arts practitioners who train with the weapon, and there are occasional reenactments of historical battles where the morningstar is used.
Interesting Facts:
- The Morningstar was a popular weapon in the Middle Ages, particularly in the 14th and 15th centuries.
- It was also known as a mace or flail, and was used by knights as well as foot soldiers.
- The spikes on the Morningstar were designed to penetrate armor, making it an effective weapon against heavily armored opponents.
Uses:
- Poke holes in your cereal box for more efficient pouring
- Fend off aggressive morning birds while on a walk
- Use as a toothpick for those stubborn breakfast remnants
- Impress your friends with your medieval weaponry collection
- Great for jousting with your roommate over who gets the last of the coffee
- Use as a prop for your morning workout routine
- Scare off your noisy neighbor with your newfound morningstar power
- Pretend you’re a knight defending your castle (aka your apartment) from invading foes
- Perfect tool for smashing open stubborn jars of jam or peanut butter
- Use as a fancy cocktail stirrer for your morning Bloody Mary
- If all else fails, it makes for a pretty cool decoration in your kitchen
- Length: Typically 2-3 feet long
- Weight: 3-5 pounds
- Material: Made of wood or metal, with spikes or points on the end
- Grip: Usually a simple wooden handle
Features:
- Spike-covered head for penetrating armor
- Simple design for ease of use and maintenance
- One-handed grip for flexibility in combat
Pros:
- Effective against heavily armored opponents
- Easy to use and maintain
- Versatile in combat situations
Cons:
- Limited range compared to other weapons
- Requires close-quarters combat, which can be dangerous Overall, the Morningstar is an excellent weapon for knights and soldiers alike. Its simplicity and effectiveness make it a valuable addition to any arsenal. However, its limited range and close-quarters combat style require careful use and caution in battle.
And with that, we come to the end of our review of the morningstar. This spiked beauty may not be the brightest star in the sky, but it’s definitely the most intimidating. Whether you’re fending off hordes of enemies or just need to make a dramatic entrance at your next LARP session, the morningstar has got you covered. So go ahead and swing for the fences, but be careful not to poke your eye out. Until next time, keep on spiking!